Friday, June 01, 2007

When You Deny Your Gifts

There are occasions when you read a line from a book and it resonates very very deeply. I've been reading Marsha Sinetar's book "Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow". On page 10, there's the line...........

"Any talent that we are born with eventually surfaces as a need"

When you look at or read the biographies of famous performers, they often say that they have a need to perform, a need to sing, to dance, to act, to play music, play sport and even if they weren't being paid they would still be doing it somewhere. I heard David Beckham say recently that he'd play football, regardless or not whether he was being paid; it was just something that he needed to do (I wonder if L.A Galaxy knows this, they could save themselves a lot of money!)

Human need for self expression
I believe that we all have a need to express ourselves in different ways. It's part of being human from cave art onwards. Some find it through creating businesses, others through raising a family, others through gardening, writing, painting, playing music, singing.

However, if we do not allow ourselves to express those gifts, then they have a habit of turning into self destructive behaviour. There is the saying attributed to Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas:

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.

If you do not bring forth what is within you,what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Interestingly enough, I've always remembered the first line but only recently remembered the second, which is instructive. My interpretation of this saying is that we need to bring out are godgiven unique skills, gifts and talents with our preferred mode of expression. If we suppress that inclination, the energy that needs to flow out of us is then likely to result in self destructive behaviour; because we are denying ourselves and our own authenticity.

The symptoms of unconsciousness

The symptoms of unconsciousness and self denial include the following:
  • Feeling of disenchantment/ disappointment;
  • Feeling that nothing changes, no matter what you do;
  • Feeling numbed out inside;
  • Insomnia;
  • Frequent colds, coughs (0ften longstanding);
  • Other kinds of illnesses;
  • Depression;

All of the above frequently translates into "something missing" in your life. Those ill defined vague feelings which are hard to articulate, but often what they represent is a severing and disconnection from your essence and the truth of your being.

You need to reconnect with the deepest, most creative and energetic part of yourself by remembering what makes you feel alive, by giving yourself time in solitude to clear the cobwebs of limiting beliefs that make you less of what you are. By remembering that you must follow the path that is right for you and not let yourself be waylaid by family disapproval (or the fear of). Situations have a habit of resolving themselves energetically when you start being true to yourself.

A quote from Sanaya Roman really sums this up.

"Whenever you feel a heaviness, a resistance, or a reluctance to continue, it is a sign that you are not following your highest path. Your higher self speaks to you by making you feel joyful when you follow your higher path, and resistant and heavy when you don't. If you are forcing yourself to do things according to a list of "shoulds," you are not listening to the deeper part of your being. Your soul rarely says, "You must do this; you should do that." Your soul says, "Isn't this delightful? Doesn't this bring you great joy? Wouldn't you love to do more of it?"