Energy Vampires: Cutting the Ties That Bind
My last post about family ties reminded me that I always intended to a write a post about energy vampires (interesting association!). It also reminds me that we are often drained by out of date relationships, but keep them because of the shoulds and ought tos that we have in our belief and energy system.
Family ties are blood ties and as such provide fertile ground for energy vampires, although energy vampires are often not family members. But they often are people who trigger off energetic memories of family members.
I am reminded of a recent reiki session where the healer mentioned that three members of her family were visiting her and she'd given them reiki sessions. She felt very drained after giving three of them healing sessions, much more than if she'd done a full day's healing in which she'd see on average 10 - 12 clients.
I believe that this is because there are still very strong energetic ties in place with family members and it felt as though her family were taking much more energy from her because of those ties, than another customer would. There may also be an issue of payment and energy exchange. I didn't ask if she charged them, I suspect that she didn't because if she had she may not have felt that loss so much, but that is another issue.
I have been an energy vampire and been on the receipt of vampirism. I feel that being either is more likely to happen to a highly sensitive person (HSP), because HSPs take more time to process energy and therefore they process it more deeply. If a sensitive person is not aligned with their purpose in life and do not operate exemplary self care with some regular energy work, they are blocking their own energy and power. They are afraid to step into their own power and as such will start seeking energy and power from other people.
Most of this takes place on a subconscious level, but how do you know if you've been in the presence of an energy vampire? You feel tired, drained or just more negative after being in their company or even speaking on the phone to them. You start getting signs from your body (stomach starts getting butterflies for eg) around them.
I had specific tell tale signs that someone I was associating with was an energy vampire. My stomach usually lurched if I heard them enter a room; it was like a kick in the stomach. Another sign was that if I was going to talk to someone I had to make sure that I was in fantastic energetic condition so that I could talk to them. If this person was also a friend, it was time to evaluate the friendship. Another giveaway was that I'd be talking to someone (normally listening to their problems) and they would say that they felt so much better after talking to me. If I didn't feel better, then I knew that they were an energy vampire.
The energy vampire within
But, like atttracts like, and I now realise that I attract energy vampires when my own energy is low, I've been giving too much of my energy away and my own self care has been lacking. We do attract what we haven't fully resolved in and for ourselves.
In addition, HSPs are often naturally giving and loving people and we are often encouraged to give away too much of ourselves to help other people, even when it is detrimental to our own energy. This tendency shows up a lot in the healing professions. And healers have to be especially aware of creating strong energetic boundaries to deter energy vampires.
So here are ways to deal with energy vampirism:
1. Operate exemplary self care
On a physical level this means sleeping well, eating well, taking regular exercise, undertaking some form of regular meditative and/or energy work. Respecting your energy and sensitivities pays great dividends in the long run, allowing you to feel more alive, grounded and focused.
2. Set boundaries
Be clear about what you will and won't tolerate in your life. It can be frightening to start setting effective boundaries, but it will definitely help you with deterring energy vampires. Using energy work to clear out any fears over upsetting people or not feeling safe enought to set boundaries.
3. Energy vampires are your mirror
Yes, like does attract like on a vibrational level and I realise that if I am attracting energy vampires, it's because on another level I'm being one myself and not looking after myself properly. So in that sense it's a great guide to resolving issues within oneself, even if it does feel painful at times! That pain is often resistance asserting itself via your ego.
4. Avoid people who are energy vampires
Easier said than done, especially if they are members of your family! But I liken this to stopping smoking. In the early stages of stopping smoking, you avoid those old haunts where you would normally smoke, because it'll trigger you into starting again. It is the same here, whilst you are building strong energetic boundaries and developing an exemplary self care schedule, it is best to avoid people, where possible, who subconsciously steal your energy. You'll find that as you do, they'll either change or move out of your life.
There are other protective techniques, such as visualising white light around you and so on and if that works for you then that is great. But generally I find that setting strong boundaries and looking after yourself using energy work is a lot easier, because after a while, the energy vampires will sense your energetic strength and will avoid you.